Ryan was my sweet, and energetic little brother, 2 years apart. He was your typical middle child: reckless and mischievous. We have a little sister Anna, who is 10 years younger than Ryan. You would never know there was a large age gap between the 2 because you would often find them playing videogames together in her room. We are lucky to have our mom, Dad, stepparents, and a wonderful Mimi & Papa and Nana. Ryan was close to our Uncle John, and cousins Lucas & Johnny who were like little brothers to Ryan. Ryan also had a brotherly bond with our cousin Joey whom he loved to spend time with.
I was the first person to make him laugh. As we got older, he became my best friend and play mate. We would compromise and play with his G.I. Joe action figures but include my Barbies and dolls. We dressed up, created a world filled with imagination, and laughter. He had the easiest time making friends- he could walk up to anyone, ask them to play, and gained an instant new friend for the day. He liked to be busy and was always looking for an adventure. Mornings were his favorite, and he would always ask, "What are we going to do today?" He loved to entertain and was natural comedic; he could make you laugh even when you didn't want to.
Ryan loved to be outdoors, at Chestnut Ridge or the beach. Anywhere the sun-shined and had view of nature you could find him. Music got him through a lot of hard times, and I can still envision him sitting and strumming his guitar. He taught himself to play with very minimal lessons. He took up skateboarding and snowboarding like it was his job. He had no fear. When he put his mind to something, he mastered it. He played sports for the love of the game, not for the love of the win.
Ryan had a way with words- his letters, cards, texts, journals, & social media posts all would be beautifully written. He had an old soul and a deep thinking, creative mind. He found the beautiful moments life offered and had a unique perspective on the world.
Ryan was compassionate and understanding. He was always willing to listen or lend a helping hand. to anyone that needed it. If you were someone Ryan loved, he loved you hard, and unconditionally. Although he was my younger brother, he truly taught me so much, especially how to be open minded, and never past judgement on anyone because you never knew what someone was struggling with.
Ryan’s journey with addiction began at the young age of 17. What began as typical experimentation, partying, and peer pressure became self-medication, depression, and isolation. We saw a shift in his personality but would still get glimpses of the Ryan that we all knew was still in there. A few years back during Ryan’s recovery, he decided to get a tattoo. He had the word “HOPE” tattooed on his arm. Hold On Pain Ends. It meant something to him then, and it means something more to all of us now. I replicated Ryan's tattoo for myself, so I have a piece of him and his strength that is always with me.
Ryan’s pain ended at the young age of 24. He is at peace and no longer battling the horrific disease of addiction. His one and only wish was that people would not judge or define him by his addiction. Ryan was so much more than that. I find comfort in knowing he is at peace, and I pity anyone that never got the chance to know you, the real you. Goofy, energetic, and gentle. Looking forward to our next hug buddy.
Thank you to the Renaissance House and Save the Michael’s for all that you do. Ryan began his recovery at Renaissance House. He then became involved with Save the Michael’s as a Recovery Coach and transported people to rehab facilities. He spoke at a high school to share his experiences and help others. Thank you to everyone that was there for Ryan during his long and difficult journey.
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